Cats

Eddie is a 4 year old white cat with black blotches. Eddie, while not fat by any means, is just a big boy. If he were a person he would be like 6’4” 280 lb. Sometimes Eddie shits in the sink and/or the tub, and that’s okay. Except for the time that I saw him in the sink and didn’t realize what he was doing. I just gave him a pat on the head and called him a good boy on my way to the shower.

Lilly is a Maine coon mix who was adopted by us from a shelter in September, at the young age of 8 weeks old. We think that Lilly may have been taken from her mother before she came to live with us as she lacks a couple of basic CAT skills, such as poo cleaning. Every morning at around 6, Lilly jumps onto my chest, neck or pillow purrs until she gets the attention she needs. I don’t understand how something that small can purr so loud. Eddie, not wanting to be outdone, has started doing this as well.

My SLF (special lady friend) likes the house warm, so she is under the covers all night. Unfortunately, I must sleep on top of the covers, as my blubber storage is effectively keeping me warm this winter. Lilly has the need to suckle milk, and has tried to suckle off Eddie for weeks now. She even has taken to curling up into a ball and suckling her own tail. Recently she has crossed a line, by suckling me. It feels like a tiny piece of duct tape being pressed against your skin and then being turned slowly. It’s very bizarre. She will hit up my back and stomach on regular basis. I always freak out and toss her off the bed, but she doesn’t stop. A couple of nights ago, she even suckled my neck. I wasn’t too thrilled about that.

Today, I googled “cat suckle” and got 193,000 responses. The first one gave me the answers needed to end this from happening. I will keep you all posted on how my end sucklage now campaign turns out.