Saturday, January 31, 2009
Live Nation Sucks for Phish Tickets
My god, they suck so bad. On hold forever, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. Any have extras for Mansfeild?
Monday, January 26, 2009
Stupid
I went to circuit city hoping to find a deal on some ram. I had just got a 2 gig stick at bestbuy for $40, and figured I would check them just to be safe. The 2 gig stick was $70! I exclaimed, “I could get almost 4 gigs for that price”, and the sniveling little shit behind me was like, “You are a week and a half too late, if you had been here 10 days ago, there would have been all kinds of deals and sales, but not we’re in liquidation, which means %10 off the MSRP.” He then said it again, with even more of a pompous attitude. I was not about to listen to this, or shop there, so I said, “lets get the fuck out of here” loud enough that a couple of people looked around. I think that’s what happened anyway. Then my SLF said, very loud “No, you’re 10 days too late, and you don’t have to be such an asshole!” It was sweet.
I am working on ripping all the seasons of the Simpsons to high-rez ipod format. Most people don’t realize that you can play your ipod movies on your tv with an s-video cable. It looks stellar, so long as they are big enough files. My goal is to have all the Simpsons on this format, so that I may save the precious discs.
I dreamed about zombies ALL NIGHT last night.
I’m not really going anywhere this morning, so here’s a photo of Mr. T Mayonnaise, which doesn’t exist, but would be awesome if it did.
I am working on ripping all the seasons of the Simpsons to high-rez ipod format. Most people don’t realize that you can play your ipod movies on your tv with an s-video cable. It looks stellar, so long as they are big enough files. My goal is to have all the Simpsons on this format, so that I may save the precious discs.
I dreamed about zombies ALL NIGHT last night.
I’m not really going anywhere this morning, so here’s a photo of Mr. T Mayonnaise, which doesn’t exist, but would be awesome if it did.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Blood Donation & S-Room Test
I gave blood today. I didn't really expect to make me feel so…
normal. I usually get a little bit dizzy, or nauseated, or something.
But today, I got nothing. I feel that this represents something, I
just don't know what. UPDATE: by the time I left work, I was exhausted. Skipped the gym, and ate more than usual.
normal. I usually get a little bit dizzy, or nauseated, or something.
But today, I got nothing. I feel that this represents something, I
just don't know what. UPDATE: by the time I left work, I was exhausted. Skipped the gym, and ate more than usual.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
So Many Baggy Pants...
Last year I took a film class that was on campus of a community college and it was great. Not because of what I learned, but because of how incredibly awesome community college is.
After the first class, I hear someone say my name in the hallway. I did not see anyone I knew so I was about to walk away when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and there was a young male, who I had never seen before. He claimed we went to high school together, and he knew my sisters names, so it must have been true. He sat behind me in the auditorium the next few weeks, said stupid wrong things, and stopped showing up around halfway through the semester(well past refund time). He represented about 30% of all the students.
The best part of being on campus, BY FAR was another man, who looked somewhat like Ice Cream Eater, however was not nearly as intelligent. He was large, hairy, sat in the front row, and talked entirely too much about inappropriate things. He constantly made reference to his dad, and the movies they would watch. He thought that Final Destination 2 was awesome. He would spout out wrong answers, speak out of turn and on more than one occasion, had to be told by the professor to let others have a chance to speak without being interrupted. I began constantly writing down the delicious gems he would burst out with, and should have recorded class with a hidden mic under his desk. He would draw a lot, and I saw one of his pictures once. It was a converted pirate ship that could fly. Best drawing ever, I wish I had a photo of it. I'm going to try and dig up the notebook that I used and find the section dedicated to him.
I need only this final online course to complete my degree, and today I had to go to campus to get an access code for it. Generally, I feel pretty shitty about myself for not having finished school but today, being lost amongst the masses of underachieving, baggy pants, backward hat, butt smoking dudes, and gaggles of rich but dumb celebrity gossip girls, I felt just a little better about myself. There was a strut in my step knowing I would never fail as much as most of the people around me.
After the first class, I hear someone say my name in the hallway. I did not see anyone I knew so I was about to walk away when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and there was a young male, who I had never seen before. He claimed we went to high school together, and he knew my sisters names, so it must have been true. He sat behind me in the auditorium the next few weeks, said stupid wrong things, and stopped showing up around halfway through the semester(well past refund time). He represented about 30% of all the students.
The best part of being on campus, BY FAR was another man, who looked somewhat like Ice Cream Eater, however was not nearly as intelligent. He was large, hairy, sat in the front row, and talked entirely too much about inappropriate things. He constantly made reference to his dad, and the movies they would watch. He thought that Final Destination 2 was awesome. He would spout out wrong answers, speak out of turn and on more than one occasion, had to be told by the professor to let others have a chance to speak without being interrupted. I began constantly writing down the delicious gems he would burst out with, and should have recorded class with a hidden mic under his desk. He would draw a lot, and I saw one of his pictures once. It was a converted pirate ship that could fly. Best drawing ever, I wish I had a photo of it. I'm going to try and dig up the notebook that I used and find the section dedicated to him.
I need only this final online course to complete my degree, and today I had to go to campus to get an access code for it. Generally, I feel pretty shitty about myself for not having finished school but today, being lost amongst the masses of underachieving, baggy pants, backward hat, butt smoking dudes, and gaggles of rich but dumb celebrity gossip girls, I felt just a little better about myself. There was a strut in my step knowing I would never fail as much as most of the people around me.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Burritos and Root Canals
Things I Love: Burritos
I make lots of burritos. I just ate one that I did not think was all that big, but I now have stomach pains. It's so worth it. It was a little soggy because I wrapped it when it was hot. Inside were re-fried beans, too much garlic for a workspace, too many onions for the work place, lettuce, salsa, and siricha. I just popped two more mints trying to cover it all up. It was delicious. I’m trying to cut down on calorie intake, and burritos, while loaded with them, actually are good for you if you only have one or maybe two per day. Each one probably has 800 calories, but it’s my main meal of the day. I won’t be eating one tonight.
Things I hate: Root Canals
I hate the fact that I had to get one the last week of 2008. I had no choice. My dental was going to lapse for 09, so I had to get it done with the insurance money, and then get the crown put on with the new money. What sucks ass of the world is that I have to pay a fuck load of money for this. About $700 dollars. I’m so pissed. There is so much more I could do with $700. Needless to say, I’m broke, for what seems like the rest of my life. If anyone knows anything I could do for extra money, tell me. Also, if you or your company wants to hire me to write for you, I will do that too. Need a sample? Use this fuckers!
I make lots of burritos. I just ate one that I did not think was all that big, but I now have stomach pains. It's so worth it. It was a little soggy because I wrapped it when it was hot. Inside were re-fried beans, too much garlic for a workspace, too many onions for the work place, lettuce, salsa, and siricha. I just popped two more mints trying to cover it all up. It was delicious. I’m trying to cut down on calorie intake, and burritos, while loaded with them, actually are good for you if you only have one or maybe two per day. Each one probably has 800 calories, but it’s my main meal of the day. I won’t be eating one tonight.
Things I hate: Root Canals
I hate the fact that I had to get one the last week of 2008. I had no choice. My dental was going to lapse for 09, so I had to get it done with the insurance money, and then get the crown put on with the new money. What sucks ass of the world is that I have to pay a fuck load of money for this. About $700 dollars. I’m so pissed. There is so much more I could do with $700. Needless to say, I’m broke, for what seems like the rest of my life. If anyone knows anything I could do for extra money, tell me. Also, if you or your company wants to hire me to write for you, I will do that too. Need a sample? Use this fuckers!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Inspiring a whole new generation of DB's
Last night we were watching House and there were some displays of a certain religious culture. I immediately said "Ugh," in disgust. My SLF said to me, "Well at least you're consistent in your hatred of religion." It's true. There is no god, religion is a sham and I think people who practice religion are idiots. Church is a joke, it's nothing but a giant money making scheme. I feel this way about all religions, not just one in particular.
If god preaching douche bags like want to use their celebrity status for something as stupid as religion, they need to be
prepared for the backlash. If you want to preach your bullshit to me, I will preach my logic to you, and guess what? I will win. Last night, in the national championship game the Florida QB chose to write "John 3:16" on his eye makeup. Does that mean if he lost the game by throwing ANOTHER interception, he would have denounced his religion? How can we as a country continue to produce brainwashed idiots like this? We need to make more of an effort to separate religion and entertainment, unless of course it's parody.
Fish don't know that they are in water, they just are. The water
connects all the fish, weather or not they want it to. I think that
bits and pieces from some eastern religions have it correct. Tapping
into nature is the closest thing to enlightenment I have ever
experienced, but I'm not going to tell everyone about it, because I'm
not that much of a douche bag. I'm just going to complain, because
it's not my job to change the minds of idiots. That's what TV is for.
I call this one "Magnificent Bouchebag."
If god preaching douche bags like want to use their celebrity status for something as stupid as religion, they need to be
prepared for the backlash. If you want to preach your bullshit to me, I will preach my logic to you, and guess what? I will win. Last night, in the national championship game the Florida QB chose to write "John 3:16" on his eye makeup. Does that mean if he lost the game by throwing ANOTHER interception, he would have denounced his religion? How can we as a country continue to produce brainwashed idiots like this? We need to make more of an effort to separate religion and entertainment, unless of course it's parody.
Fish don't know that they are in water, they just are. The water
connects all the fish, weather or not they want it to. I think that
bits and pieces from some eastern religions have it correct. Tapping
into nature is the closest thing to enlightenment I have ever
experienced, but I'm not going to tell everyone about it, because I'm
not that much of a douche bag. I'm just going to complain, because
it's not my job to change the minds of idiots. That's what TV is for.
I call this one "Magnificent Bouchebag."
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Dream 1/7/2009
I went to a Ween show, in the middle of no where in NH. It was a big farmhouse and the show was in the back of one of the barns. Afterwards, I was hanging out with Deaner, and he gave me some vicodin, which was so old it was falling apart, so I did not take it. Soon I was off on the maiden voyage of the Titanic. Everything was going great, until I realized what ship it was, and I started to try to alert other ships. The problem was, they thought we were celebrating. I climbed out of my cabin and managed to get to another ship, however it was German, so I pleaded for help in German to all the passengers on board, “Konnen Sie Mich Helfen!?” Finally I saw my friend’s old parents, who speak German. They recognized me, even though their children were only infants. It appears that I had traveled back in time.
At this point I thought I woke up and called Topher Grace for about 30 minutes. He was my new friend. After that I went into Wild Oats, where I was still working and proceeded to tell my friend Chuck about it all. I thought that this was actually happening, and I was working there, although I was confused as to why. I soon realized I was still dreaming.
I returned to the present and was in an airport. An old man gave me a jewelry case that once held a platinum Euro symbol. He said to me, “Tell them you’re welcome.” I watched as he snuck through the check in. I then was left to figure out what was going on. Long dream short, I ended up at work, and was trying to read a secret message written on toilet paper. I was very upset because whoever had wrote it, had spelled the word pee as PIE.
THE END
At this point I thought I woke up and called Topher Grace for about 30 minutes. He was my new friend. After that I went into Wild Oats, where I was still working and proceeded to tell my friend Chuck about it all. I thought that this was actually happening, and I was working there, although I was confused as to why. I soon realized I was still dreaming.
I returned to the present and was in an airport. An old man gave me a jewelry case that once held a platinum Euro symbol. He said to me, “Tell them you’re welcome.” I watched as he snuck through the check in. I then was left to figure out what was going on. Long dream short, I ended up at work, and was trying to read a secret message written on toilet paper. I was very upset because whoever had wrote it, had spelled the word pee as PIE.
THE END
Monday, January 5, 2009
Cats
Eddie is a 4 year old white cat with black blotches. Eddie, while not fat by any means, is just a big boy. If he were a person he would be like 6’4” 280 lb. Sometimes Eddie shits in the sink and/or the tub, and that’s okay. Except for the time that I saw him in the sink and didn’t realize what he was doing. I just gave him a pat on the head and called him a good boy on my way to the shower.
Lilly is a Maine coon mix who was adopted by us from a shelter in September, at the young age of 8 weeks old. We think that Lilly may have been taken from her mother before she came to live with us as she lacks a couple of basic CAT skills, such as poo cleaning. Every morning at around 6, Lilly jumps onto my chest, neck or pillow purrs until she gets the attention she needs. I don’t understand how something that small can purr so loud. Eddie, not wanting to be outdone, has started doing this as well.
My SLF (special lady friend) likes the house warm, so she is under the covers all night. Unfortunately, I must sleep on top of the covers, as my blubber storage is effectively keeping me warm this winter. Lilly has the need to suckle milk, and has tried to suckle off Eddie for weeks now. She even has taken to curling up into a ball and suckling her own tail. Recently she has crossed a line, by suckling me. It feels like a tiny piece of duct tape being pressed against your skin and then being turned slowly. It’s very bizarre. She will hit up my back and stomach on regular basis. I always freak out and toss her off the bed, but she doesn’t stop. A couple of nights ago, she even suckled my neck. I wasn’t too thrilled about that.
Today, I googled “cat suckle” and got 193,000 responses. The first one gave me the answers needed to end this from happening. I will keep you all posted on how my end sucklage now campaign turns out.
Lilly is a Maine coon mix who was adopted by us from a shelter in September, at the young age of 8 weeks old. We think that Lilly may have been taken from her mother before she came to live with us as she lacks a couple of basic CAT skills, such as poo cleaning. Every morning at around 6, Lilly jumps onto my chest, neck or pillow purrs until she gets the attention she needs. I don’t understand how something that small can purr so loud. Eddie, not wanting to be outdone, has started doing this as well.
My SLF (special lady friend) likes the house warm, so she is under the covers all night. Unfortunately, I must sleep on top of the covers, as my blubber storage is effectively keeping me warm this winter. Lilly has the need to suckle milk, and has tried to suckle off Eddie for weeks now. She even has taken to curling up into a ball and suckling her own tail. Recently she has crossed a line, by suckling me. It feels like a tiny piece of duct tape being pressed against your skin and then being turned slowly. It’s very bizarre. She will hit up my back and stomach on regular basis. I always freak out and toss her off the bed, but she doesn’t stop. A couple of nights ago, she even suckled my neck. I wasn’t too thrilled about that.
Today, I googled “cat suckle” and got 193,000 responses. The first one gave me the answers needed to end this from happening. I will keep you all posted on how my end sucklage now campaign turns out.
Friday, January 2, 2009
What I Ate on New Years Day
Forget a resolution, my goal yesterday was to eat. I'm not bragging or anything, but it was intense. I also played the Simpsons Wii Game for about 7 hours. Anyway, here is the food...
5 cheesecake cupcakes
A cup of chocolate covered pretzels
Basket of chips
Three spoonfulls of cherry pie filling
Cup of assorted veggies
2 rodeo burgers
1 whopper jr.
1 whopper jr (no meat)
20 oz. sprite.
2 glasses of champagne (breakfast)
4 vanilla wafers
A cucumber/pepper sandwich
5 cheesecake cupcakes
A cup of chocolate covered pretzels
Basket of chips
Three spoonfulls of cherry pie filling
Cup of assorted veggies
2 rodeo burgers
1 whopper jr.
1 whopper jr (no meat)
20 oz. sprite.
2 glasses of champagne (breakfast)
4 vanilla wafers
A cucumber/pepper sandwich
Dream from 1/2/2009
I was working in a terrible hippy store for my 7th grade English teacher (who actually married my DARE officer and got him to quit the force, for rel). It was an eatery, with all kinds of stupid hippy shit that sucked. It was on the main street of some small town in Maine. There was some kind of sketchy shit going on there. I left for the day and went home, which was actually my dad’s house. There was a knock at the door, so I answered it. A car had driven onto the porch. Inside it was two very sketchy looking youths, buckled with racing seatbelts, the kind that go over both shoulders. After they left, I went back to work, and I was an hour and a half late due to my family arriving unexpectedly. I was given a hard time, but I went back to work.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)